My future brother in law was congratulating me for having the will power to quit smoking and sticking with it. As far as he knew, I had stopped smoking two months ago. My nerves were shot and he was telling me this as he lit another cigarette. I couldn’t pretend any longer. This time I really had to throw away the cigarettes. I just couldn’t tell anyone I was quitting smoking.
I smiled through a cloud of second hand smoke and pretended that I didn’t really want another smoke. He didn’t know that I had only quit the day before. Now I was spending the week with my fiancĂ© at her family reunion.
Two months before, I had told her a small fib and announced that because she was such a wonderful woman, I was not going to have another cigarette. I had quit! I was finished! Never again! She thought that was going to be my last week without a cigarette.
I wasn’t that strong. I continued smoking for eight weeks until we had a family get together in South Florida. It was not that my fiancĂ© was dumb and couldn’t smell the smoke it was just that we were not living together at the time and I was out of town for most of each week. When she did catch the odor of smoke, I just blamed it on one of my coworkers that smoked like a chimney.
Now we were driving to Lakeland, Florida and there was no way to pull out a cigarette without giving myself away. My sister in law who was riding in the car with us was quitting this week also and she complained most of the trip about how she was dying for a smoke. Any brand would do!
There is a secret to quitting smoking that worked for me. Find someone you care about and lie to them. Tell them that because of your love for them you have become a changed person and are changing your unhealthy lifestyle. Sooner or later you will be put into a position where you will be forced to quit.
If you don’t want to get caught lying to a newfound sweetheart, you will suck it up and pretend that the cigarette smoking wafting around your head only bothers you because you’re afraid you will get cancer from second hand smoke.
I really laid on the nagging because there is nothing more annoying than a self-righteous former smoker who has recently quit. This is a sure way to keep them sold on the idea that you have really quit smoking. Men would understand that to fail at quitting smoking is not a failure but a rehearsal for the next time you decide to stop the habit.
Women though are often guilty of excessive thinking. These would think that failing to quit smoking means that you love smoking those nasty, filthy cancer sticks more than you love her. It doesn’t matter if that notice is idea and likely not to be true, I was too much of a coward to give in and smoke when basically everyone but my finance’ and her mother was smoking.
I was standing on the porch listening to my brother-in-law telling me that if I had smoked as much as he did, I probably wouldn’t have stayed away from tobacco so easily. My future wife told me how proud she was of me. I didn’t tell anyone I had only been without a smoke for one day. So I continued to lie and act like I hadn’t had a cigarette in two months. Just think of all the money I saved on gum and patches.
Bob Alexander is a son of the south. Besides having great knowledge in the workings of the female mind, he has gained expert status in eating barbeque, telling fishing stories and leisure living.
Visit his site at: www.redfishbob.com
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ReplyDeleteWe provide information how to quit smoking cigarette, weed, and so on. It are not about smoking meat etc. We wish if smokers understand the danger of smoking they will be quit.
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